Theresa May Will Move England Before March 2019

London, England – United Kingdom’s Prime Minister is not happy about the way the EU is reacting to Brexit. In answer to that, Theresa May, throwing her toys out of the pram, has decided to move England.

“EU doesn’t want to be nice to us?”, Theresa May said this morning. “Well, guess what? England doesn’t care. We were not their friends anymore first. I just bought 60 giant boats to pull England somewhere else. We are discussing with several countries to know where we will go. We can’t quite afford to go somewhere sunny. So we are left to choose between going East of Groenland or North of Russia. As soon as we know, we will start moving England”.

Unfazed, EU members stayed positive and did not seem too worried about losing a neighbour country.

“It is a bit childish of them, they could have stayed where they were and keep on negotiating”, a member of the European Parliament says. “But if it’s England’s decision, we wish them the best. I don’t think they will get anything out of it except worst weather”.

Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales will have a referendum to know if they will move and follow England or stay there and pretend British Isles were never a thing. The referendum should take place later this year.

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