Richmond, Virginia – Saturday 3rd of March, the 24th Douchbro Academy Awards will take place in Virginia. On that occasion, Oscar Wilde will receive an Honorary Award for his contribution to the douchebrohood.
“The only way to resist temptation is to yield to it”, Frank Maroos, one of the Academy members says. “How genius is that? Until Oscar wrote that, douchebros were forced to come up with inventive excuses whenever they acted like selfish twats. Then along came Oscar Wilde. And everything changed. It was only fair to thank him for helping us all so much. An Honorary Award is the least we could do”
The Award will be given to Victor Holland, Oscar’s great great grandson, by Brandon Scaldher.
“Oscar Wilde saved my life so many times!”, Brandon says. “Every time I get caught cheating, I say “The only way to resist temptation is to yield to it” to my girlfriend. What is she going to answer to that? It’s from Oscar Wilde. He’s a poet. She is gonna tell me she knows better than him? Really it’s a free card to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Eat too much, drink a lot, drive too fast… The three at the same time. Oscar Wilde made life pretty good for us all. Thanks Bro!”