Kellyanne Conway Attends Bowling Green Massacre Commemoration

Bowling Green, Somewhere in the United States – Kellyanne Conway, America’s Princess of Hearts and Counselor to the President, took some time out of her busy schedule to attend Bowling Green massacre commemoration yesterday.

“We had a month of events that ended with a commemoration yesterday” Kevin Turdlebeck, the mayor of Bowling Green says. “Kellyanne Conway was so sweet to attend. We asked her to come but we didn’t actually believe she would do it! You could see that she really cares about the victims. She wants to know the whole truth about what happened. Some people just come to the commemoration to be seen, but you could tell Kellyanne knew her facts. We are proud to have had her here today. We prayed, we sang, we laughed, we cried. It was beautiful”.

Asked about her feeling after attending the commemoration, Kellyanne was fast to remind the journalists that it wasn’t about herself.

“I can’t make this tragedy about me”, Kellyanne Conway said. “I can’t use this event to push my agenda. That would be outrageous. It is about the victims. John Miller, Carolin Gallego, Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne and Liberty Mayehass. They were real people with real hopes. Let’s never forget them. I’ll make sure I never stop talking about the massacre”.