Conservative Scientist Proves Women Have Ovaries Instead of Brain

Burkburnett, Texas – Conservative Scientist Harrison Gard, Researcher at the Catholic Centre of Scientific Research, has published an article in Religious Science Magazine backing up the claims of James Damore, the man who sued Google for harassment.

“I have done the MRI of a human female for the first time ever”, Harrison says. ” We had never bothered before. An MRI is expensive. We just assumed that women’s brains were the same as males’ brains but with a skirt. Oh, how wrong we were!”

Harrison Gard has indeed discovered that women do not actually have a brain.

“Instead of a brain, they do have a second pair of fully functioning ovaries, in the head”, Harrison continues. “It seems like this proves that those who were claiming that women can’t work in science, technologies or drive were right all along!”

But that is not the only implication of Dr Gard’s discovery.

“It proves without a possible doubt that women are unable to read or differentiate colors”, Harrison Gard explains. “They can’t understand simple concepts. We are preparing a petition to ask the Senate to make it illegal for a woman to drive, vote or have a personal opinion about anything. This is the least we can do to make sure women don’t ruin society with their head ovaries”.