Conservative White Males at Google Find New Ways to Be Annoying

Mountain View, California – James Damore, the man suing Google for discrimination against conservative men, seems to have set a bad example. Now, conservative white males employed at Google are trying to find new ways to be insufferable in a hope to get some of the attention their ex-colleague received.

“I can’t freaking take it anymore”, Michelle Rob, who works for Google’s HR, says. “They are a bunch of whiny privileged idiots. Every day, they find a new thing to feel offended about. Yesterday, one of them came and complained that he felt oppressed because he doesn’t have religious dietary restrictions that we should accommodate. What do you want me to answer to that? You can’t lose your calm or tell them anything or they feel harassed. It needs to stop or I am going to lose it!”

Euripides Gilmore, one of Google’s white conservative male employees, doesn’t feel like their concerns are being taken seriously.

“We are the new oppressed minority”, Euripides says. “We keep on going to the HR because we can’t get heard. Google refuses to admit the fact that women and non-white people are genetically programmed to be bad at technologies. It makes us have a booboo to our souls. Our pride goes aouch. You would complain a lot too if it was you”.