Ikea Directors to Assemble Ingvar Kamprad’s Coffin

Stockholm, Sweden – Ikea has lost today its founder, Ingvar Kamprad, 91. In the will he left, the billionaire Swedish magnate wrote a rather surprising demand. A last wish to honour his love of ready-to-assemble furniture.

“We are all obviously devastated to lose him. He was such a great man”, Sven Kourtis, one of Ikea’s directors says. “But we have learned that in his will, Ingvar has specified that his coffin had to be assembled by the members of Ikea’s Board of Directors, if they wanted to remain in the company. We were not expecting that”.

Ingvar Kamprad, probably thinking that the task wouldn’t be complicated enough, has specified that the coffin should be assembled following instructions written in Russian.

“We are all a bit confused”, Sven says. “We are not sure what his intention were. Was it the last joke of someone who hoped that we would assemble his coffin, remembering him fondly and sharing some sweat and laughs. Or did he secretly hate us all along and enjoyed the thought of torturing us one last time. Maybe a bit of both depending on the person, I guess. Anyway, we’ll obviously do it. We will start assembling the coffin on Monday. Let’s hope that it won’t take too long!”.