Orlando, Florida – George Zimmerman is back in the news after he made threats against Jay-Z last week. Following the incident, the Government of the United States has been forced to create a new ethnicity exclusively for the man who was acquitted of murder as no existing group is ready to take him.
“All the communities are fighting to know who he belongs to”, Zacharia Melomann, a researcher at the Institue for Ethnic, says. “White Americans definitely refuse to recognize him as a Caucasian. We can’t blame them, they already have a bad reputation of being racists. Furthermore, they have to deal with Donald Trump and Anthony Weiner. There is no way they will accept George Zimmerman”.
It seems like Hispanic Americans also refuse to have anything to do with Zimmerman.
“It is really unfair to pin him on Latinos”, Romero Vasquez, the President of the American Association of Hispanics. “We don’t want him. Latinos are proud and honest people. This dude will stain our ethnicity for several centuries. Nah ha. You keep him”
It seems like the other groups are not keen neither on taking on the controversial man.
“We obviously can’t class him as an African American”, Zacharia says. “That would be outrageous. Asian Americans are hysterically laughing at the idea to get him. Native Americans have suffered enough already, we can’t do that to them”.
Unfortunately, as despised as he is, George Zimmerman has the constitutional right to have an ethnic group.
“The only option is to create one just for him”, Romero explains. “From now on, when filling a form, people will have the choice between Native American, African American, White American, Asian American, Alaska Native, Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander Native, Mixed Ethnicities and Zimmerman”.