Al Franken Admits he is Not Exactly Sure What Respect Means

Al Franken has admitted in an interview yesterday that he was embarrassed and ashamed after the allegations that he groped and acted inappropriately towards women. This ends weeks of speculations. However, the U.S. Senator said that he refuses to quit the Senate as it kills him that “it gives people a reason to believe I don’t respect women”.

Today, Al Franken has been forced to admit that he isn’t totally sure what respect means after people questioned his statement.

“I am 83% sure. OK, maybe 74% certain”, Al Franken says . “I have a good idea of what respect means. It is a great song by Aretha Franklyn. It is a nice word to spell. I definitely never murdered any woman. I used to let women sit on my laps when the bus was too busy, back when I used public transports. So, I believe that it does fall into the respecting women category”.

When given a multiple choice between a) having due regards for women a) liking women very very much c) a tangerine of a hardy loose-skinned variety, Al Franken failed to find the definition of the word respect.

“That’s a hard one, it could be any of those”, the Senator says. “I’m pretty sure it’s the answer c). Or a). Although b) rings a bell too. OK, I’ll admit it, I have no idea what respect means. But I’m pretty sure I know what ashamed means.  I am definitely that. I think”.